Mom Talk

 It’s so tempting to try and control the way our kids talk to us. Now, I agree that we shouldn’t allow them to call us names or shout at us or hit us, but I’m talking about things like letting them say, “I hate you!” without reacting to it on their level. It’s very important from a psychological standpoint that we allow our children to express their emotions, then help them determine what they are really feeling. When your child says she hates you, she really doesn’t, she’s just expressing her anger or frustration with the most intense words she can think of. A good response would be, “Why do you think you hate me?” This may help you get to the bottom of what’s triggering her emotions. If you already know she said it because you wouldn’t let her have a cookie, simply respond with, “You think you hate me but you’re really just angry with me because I wouldn’t give you a cookie before dinner. I’m making you wait for the cookie because I love you and I know what’s good for you. I love you very much.” Follow up with a good hug. It’s important that your child knows you love her unconditionally and that nothing she says or does will change that. As I study this phenomenon we’ll call “helping your child manage/express his emotions”, I’ll post more tips and advice here. Sound off if you have something to add!